Among Artists

I come from a family of designers and artists. It was pretty much decided by every person I knew that given my seemingly natural talents given in these areas as well, I should become an artist, designer, or musician, or just all of the above. (You can see me doodling as a kid as well as a couple of sketches I did here.)

After all, given the circumstances, I had all the tools, experience, connection, and motivation to quickly acquire all sorts of creative abilities. But drawing, painting, sculpting, … it was all a way for me to not just capture the beauty of the world but to understand it.

Of the art books we had, a collection of Leonardo Da Vinci’s works stood out to me and I related to this mindset from a young age as art was not meant to solely entertain but it was a tool to capture the beauty of the world, understanding it, recreating it.

“If you can create it, you understand it.” like Feynman said.

Naturally, I liked to read every popular science and textbook I could find.

New Age of AI

When I was 16, the new age of AI had just begun. It was clear to me that this was the future and like many curious, I had always been fascinated with science and the brain as well. A lot of the problems I had previously broken my head over were suddenly solved! Now everything seemed possible within my lifetime.

I taught myself programming and started recreating AI publications I found on the Arxiv, including generative AI like Generative Adversarial Networks and its many variations that came out during those years. (I also ruined a bunch of hard drives and computers in the process.) If I had any ambition to become a great artist, this was the last bullet that killed it. I can do meaningful scientific research and push the boundaries of art and technology? Call me in.

Studying Physics in Berlin

Coding a lot, I realized I needed a more formal education in mathematics. At the same time, I was frustrated with my own understanding of the universe to such a painful degree that I knew I had to go to university and learn physics. I was helped with this decision knowing that many trained physicists were indeed AI researchers. So at 18, I moved across the country to the big most international city Germany had to offer: Berlin. Now was the time to actually become fluent in English as well, a subject I had no interest until I realized I wanted/needed to leave the country eventually.

Now that I had my first research experience and feel confident working on a wide variety of science and engineering problems, I am about to make such a jump again.

Conclusion

During all of this, people looked at me with big eyes not understanding how I could throw all my talents away. Many were convinced I would give up quickly again as well. But eventually, as I stuck with physics, my image changed in the eyes of others and I became the physics guy. Suddenly, people told me how they hated physics and that they, contrary to me, had a more “creative” brain. Left brain vs. right brain… We know the myth. But I hope my story here dispelled it to some degree.

I seemingly chose to throw a lot of potential away to follow a more difficult path. But I saw neither fulfillment nor utility in a career of art, design, music, or entertainment.

A difficult life full of challenges and meaning is better than an easy one without.